The Newsman · climate

UNCLE SAMS HOLY PURGE! NEW RECRUITER DEMANDS ONLY CHRISTIAN DIPLOMATS!

Mother Jones · 2026-07-04

The US State Department has contracted with "anti-woke" job board Military Hire (a subsidiary of RedBalloon) to recruit Foreign Service Officers, following the Trump administration's removal of DEI initiatives and firing of hundreds of officers. RedBalloon's CEO, an elder in a Christian nationalist church, publicly stated the goal is to attract ideologically "aligned" candidates—specifically Christians—to replace "leftist" hires deemed resistant to a conservative agenda. This initiative signifies a deliberate effort to reshape the State Department's professional corps based on political and religious alignment, raising concerns about the politicization of crucial non-political roles and the erosion of merit-based, diverse hiring.

**UNCLE SAM'S DIPLOMACY UNDER SIEGE! STATE DEPARTMENT GETS 'ANTI-WOKE' PURGE AS PATRIOTS VOW TO ROOT OUT 'LOONEY LEFTISTS'!**

**NEW ERA DAWNS AS TRUMP ADMINISTRATION MOVES TO CLEAN HOUSE AND BRING BACK 'TRUE AMERICAN VALUES' TO FOREIGN SERVICE!**

WASHINGTON D.C. — A tempest of controversy is sweeping through the hallowed halls of the United States Department of State, as the Trump administration launches a radical overhaul, vowing to root out perceived disloyalty and install a new guard of "right-thinking" patriots in America's vital Foreign Service!

For generations, the Foreign Service Officer has stood as a bulwark of American influence abroad, these crucial envoys engaging with foreign powers, championing Uncle Sam's interests, and shaping global destiny. The path to such esteemed service has ever been a grueling gauntlet, an acid test of intellect and character, demanding the keenest minds and stoutest hearts.

Yet, last year witnessed a seismic shift, a draconian decree from the Trump administration itself! It announced a swift end to hiring practices it deemed overly reliant on "group identity" initiatives – a move formalized in a March 2025 memo from the Secretary of State, ordering the removal of any "Core Precept entitled ‘Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Accessibility'."

The very next turn of the calendar saw Secretary of State Marco Rubio, with the swiftness of a seasoned frontiersman, recall a staggering twenty-nine ambassadors and send two hundred and forty-six Foreign Service Officers packing! In a wireless dispatch circulated widely, Rubio thundered that this drastic "restructuring" aimed to rid the State Department of a culture where "radical ideologues and bureaucratic infighters have learned to…push through their own agendas that are often at odds with those of the President and undermine the interests of the United States."

**A "NON-WOKE" MAKEOVER!**

Now, as the dust settles, the Department of State hungers for a new generation of diplomatic warriors. In an unprecedented move, Uncle Sam has inked a near-million-dollar covenant ($978,750, to be precise!) with a burgeoning employment firm, RedBalloon, and its arm, Military Hire, proudly proclaiming itself "America's non-woke job board!" This pact, though modest in sum, boasts lofty ambitions: to orchestrate a complete "anti-woke makeover" of the Foreign Service, attracting ideologically "aligned" candidates—men and women of true faith, perhaps, with Christian virtues guiding their every step.

The driving force behind this audacious endeavor, RedBalloon chief Andrew Crapuchettes, an elder at the controversial Idaho pastor Doug Wilson’s Christ Church, recently held forth on a wireless discourse dubbed "CrossPolitic." In an interview provocatively titled "Could 1,000 Employees Change the State Department Forever?", Crapuchettes railed against past recruitment. "It was focused on trying to get in the guy with a PhD in Black dance," he bellowed, "rather than people who can actually do a good job!"

He charged that these "group identity" hires often balked at directives aligning with the administration’s robust "America First" ethic. "What they’re finding is all these Foreign Service Officers are like, ‘Yeah, I don’t really want to. Yeah, that sounds really hard, so I’m not going to,’" he opined, "because they’re, more than not, leftists, and they don’t want to do President Trump’s agenda. They want him to look bad, and they want to drag their feet."

Crapuchettes claimed the State Department had "got rid of the entire recruiting department… like 50 people," engaging in a full "cleaning house" to remove those "not aligned with the current administration’s agenda." He then issued a clarion call to Christians: "I would love to see a lot of Christians applying, taking the test, doing the hard work, becoming a foreign service officer...You’re in a position where you can have a huge influence for the rest of your life on the US government."

**WIDER WEB OF INFLUENCE!**

Crapuchettes' ambitions stretch further than the State Department's marble halls. He revealed his company is forging similar covenants with the Department of War and the Department of the Interior, even securing a pact for "political appointee level recruitment" for the Department of Veterans Affairs! Neither the State Department nor the VA offered comment on these startling revelations, and the Department of War politely declined.

RedBalloon, founded in 2021 amidst the clamor for vaccine mandates, swiftly became a standard-bearer for "freedom, hard work, and merit-based recognition." Donald Trump, Jr. himself hailed it as "a HUGE advance in the culture war!" The company, Crapuchettes boasts, now commands a veritable army of "tens of thousands" of job seekers, attracting employers from Turning Point USA to The Daily Wire.

**PASTOR WILSON'S FIERY RHETORIC!**

The shadowy figure pulling some strings behind the scenes is none other than Pastor Doug Wilson, Crapuchettes’ elder at Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho. Wilson, a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist and spiritual advisor to Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, holds sway over a small empire of businesses and schools. A veritable firebrand, Wilson has made controversial pronouncements, opining that "women’s suffrage was 'a mistake'" and envisioning a United States where "public flogging would largely replace prisons." He thundered against "identity politics" and "anti-Christian bias," declaring, "It used to be that the sexually troubled had to keep their kinks hidden away in the closet. Now it is the conservative Christian who needs to keep his virtues hidden in the recesses of the closet."

Wilson, too, stands uncompromising against what he calls "woke" initiatives. "We must be hostile to all such verbal iterations," he penned in a blog post last year, echoing the RedBalloon ethos.

Despite the fiery rhetoric, RedBalloon spokesperson Isaac Lopez stoutly declared that the company does "not screen, filter, or evaluate any applicant based on political affiliation, religion, or ideology." He clarified Crapuchettes' comments as merely a "personal hope that more public-service-minded people of faith consider federal careers."

In a late-breaking dispatch, a State Department spokesperson weighed in, stating that Uncle Sam is "committed to recruiting the best and brightest from all across America... without regard for political or religious background and in accordance with all law." Furthermore, they claim, interest in joining the Foreign Service has "skyrocketed" under the current administration.

***

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Bullets

Here are 3-5 concise bullets preserving factual claims and useful context:
The US Department of State has contracted Military Hire, a subsidiary of the self-described "non-woke job board" RedBalloon, for nearly $1 million to recruit new Foreign Service Officers (FSOs).
RedBalloon CEO Andrew Crapuchettes, an elder in a Christian nationalist church, publicly stated the goal is to attract "ideologically aligned" candidates, "hopefully Christians," to counter "leftist" FSOs he claims resisted the previous administration's agenda.
Crapuchettes further claimed the State Department fired its recruiting department and is "cleaning house" to replace misaligned personnel, noting RedBalloon is also pursuing similar federal contracts with other departments like War and Interior.
This initiative follows past actions by the Trump administration to eliminate diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives from FSO hiring and a purge by Secretary of State Marco Rubio, who fired 246 FSOs to remove perceived "radical ideologues."
However, RedBalloon's spokesperson denied screening applicants by religion or ideology, and a State Department spokesperson affirmed its commitment to recruiting without regard for political or religious background.

Poem

From Mother Jones' watchful eye, a story unfolds,

Of pillars of state and secrets it holds.

The Foreign Service, noble and grand,

To shape the globe, a diplomat's hand.

With arduous vetting, a crucible deep,

They guard the nation, while the world does sleep,

Engaging governments, diverse and wide,

For American interests, with purpose and pride.

But winds of change, from a high tower blown,

A different precept, now overthrown.

From future's threshold, a decree took flight,

To banish "Diversity," dimming its light.

No longer a "Core Precept," its force now denied,

By order of March, where old values died.

Then came the purge, swift and stark,

Ambassadors recalled, leaving their mark.

Two hundred forty-six officers, dismissed from their post,

A "restructuring" declared, a loyal host.

For "radical ideologues," so the memo did claim,

Pushed agendas astray, tarnishing the name.

Undermining the President, and the nation's true aim,

A "culture" to cleanse, by a fiery flame.

Now, a new generation, they seek to embrace,

For these coveted roles, a vacant space.

A contract is signed, with a name fresh and bold,

Military Hire, a story to be told.

A subsidiary, 'neath RedBalloon's vast spread,

"America's non-woke job board," proudly it's said.

For a quarter-million, a purpose quite clear,

To draw "aligned" souls, casting out fear,

An "anti-woke makeover," a vision so grand,

Attracting the faithful, across the whole land.

Its CEO, Crapuchettes, with voice strong and true,

An elder at Christ Church, with Wilson' in view.

On CrossPolitic's stage, his convictions he aired,

Of "God's law to politics," a belief he shared.

He scoffed at past methods, "DEI" its name,

"A PhD in Black dance," fueling his flame.

"Not people who do a good job," was his plea,

But "leftists" who'd hinder, for all eyes to see.

He painted a picture, of officers' delay,

Reluctant to follow, and dragging their way.

For "Trump's agenda," they harbored disdain,

To make him "look bad," causing much pain.

So the "entire recruiting department," fifty souls gone,

A "cleaning house" process, now breaking the dawn.

To shed the unaligned, with purpose and might,

And bring in the faithful, aligned with the light.

"I would love to see Christians," he then did implore,

"Apply for these roles, and open the door.

To Germany or Botswana, your influence to cast,

A lifelong connection, built to truly last.

To shape the US government, from the inside out,"

A mission proclaimed, beyond any doubt.

RedBalloon's reach grows, beyond State's new quest,

With War and Interior, put to the test.

Even VA contracts, for political role,

A vast network weaving, taking its toll.

From anti-vax mandates, its journey began,

A "HUGE advance" in the "culture war" plan.

With "tens of thousands" now, seeking a place,

"Who value freedom," and "merit's embrace."

Their work with Border Patrol, causing a stir,

And ICE, whispered softly, a controversial blur.

But Military Hire, a gentler disguise,

A front for the brand, in many's eyes.

Doug Wilson, the pastor, a power unbound,

At Pentagon sermons, his manly words sound.

A "Christian nationalist," with views stark and keen,

On women's suffrage, a misguided scene.

For public flogging, he'd trade prison's dark wall,

Against "identity politics," standing up tall.

"The sexually troubled" once hid their "kinks,"

Now the Christian their "virtues," he grimly thinks.

His blog thunders hatred, a hostile command,

Against "woke" and "DEI," across the whole land.

No fees for job seekers, through this new design,

But employers who pay, to find their aligned.

Practice tests offered, a crucial new aid,

For the annual exam, a career remade.

Yet officially stated, a company's plea,

No screening by faith, or by ideology.

Crapuchettes' hopes, a "personal" embrace,

Not policy set, for this hiring race.

Then a final word, from State's official voice,

To recruit "the best," by America's choice.

No politics, no religion, they firmly declare,

But interest "skyrocketed," a truth to share.

So the Foreign Service, once a beacon of grace,

Now navigates currents, in a changing space.

Where faith and alignment, with power now blend,

A new era begins, for diplomacy's end.