This opinion piece argues that the Republican party used anti-transgender rhetoric as a tactical "Trojan horse" to secure power and implement a wider fascist agenda that ultimately harms a broader swath of Americans. Using the metaphor of chickens voting for Colonel Sanders, the author warns that tolerating the scapegoating of marginalized groups inevitably paves the way for systemic authoritarian overreach. Recognizing this pattern is critical because it highlights how democratic erosion targets successive populations once initial scapegoats are neutralized.
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### **THE GREAT HORN-SWOGGLE OF ’26!**
#### **How the MAGA Medicine Show Fooled the Rubes with a Bogeyman, Only to Bring the Iron Heel Down on Main Street!**
##### **Scribe Wajahat Ali Warns: "When You Vote for the Butcher, Don’t Cry When You’re Sunday Dinner!"**
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**SPECIAL DISPATCH BY WAJAHAT ALI**
*Crusading Editor of “The Left Hook”*
**NEW YORK, June 26, 2026** — Once upon a time in this great Republic, your humble correspondent penned a grim fable. It was a cautionary tale of a flock of foolish chickens who took a liking to Colonel Sanders.
These high-feathered birds thought their wealth, their fine breeding, and their proximity to the kitchen would spare them from the grease. So, they joined the Colonel’s campaign against the neighborhood goats and calves. A year later, they found themselves battered, fried, and served up on a silver platter!
Today, that fowl analogy fits the millions of gullible American citizens currently suffering from a severe case of the forgets. These rubes fell for the grandest flim-flam in history, believing the march of hate would halt after the high-hats finished trampling on our LGBTQ+ neighbors. Instead, they went and re-elected the Big Cheese of Bunkum himself—Donald Trump! This is the very same convict who incited a bloody riot at the Capitol and peddled deadly humbug during the Great Influenza of our time, leaving thousands in the cemetery.
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### **THE $200,000,000 BOGEYMAN RACKET**
To hoodwink the church-goers, the family men, and the suburban swells, Trump and his MAGA crusaders decided to dust off an old carnival trick. To distract the public from their own grifts, bankruptcies, and failures, they manufactured a terrifying phantom: “Transgender Panic.” They turned their heavy artillery on one of the smallest, most defenseless crowds in the country—a group making up less than one percent of the whole population!
The trial run of this racket took place back in ’21, down in the Virginia gubernatorial race. The Republican fella, Glenn Youngkin, beat Terry McAuliffe by howling about “parental choice” and tossing books out of schoolhouses because they featured LGBTQ+ characters.
By the time the ’24 national election rolled around, the high-rollers dumped over two hundred million clams ($200,000,000!) into radio and television ballyhoo. During the football broadcast, the loudspeakers blared their slogan: *“Kamala is for they/them; President Trump is for you!”*
And wouldn't you know it? The public swallowed the bait hook, line, and sinker!
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### **DEMOCRATS CAUGHT FLAT-FOOTED!**
And what of the reform crowd? The Democratic leadership was caught entirely flat-footed! Instead of standing up for the most bullied kids in the schoolyard, they got cold feet and ran to the right.
Take Gavin Newsom, the Great White Knight of the California liberals. Hoping to make his own run for the White House, he’s been inviting right-wing jawsmiths onto his broadcasting program for chummy fireside chats. Newsom claims Democrats need to be "culturally normal" on these issues. Apparently, the Governor’s idea of "normal" means shaking hands with the world’s greasiest billionaires and keeping mum while Israel lays waste to Palestine—but pronouns? That’s where the swell draws the line!
With the MAGA crowd back in the saddle, the "new normal" means erasing transgender folks from the military and the history books alike. The judges in black robes—bought and paid for by conservative millionaires—quickly fell into line.
* **EXHIBIT A:** In *United States v. Skrmetti*, the Supreme Court sided with Tennessee, putting the kibosh on medical care for minors. So much for "parental rights"!
* **EXHIBIT B:** In *Chiles v. Salazar*, two liberal Justices joined the majority to bless "conversion therapy" for kids—a cruel practice the global eggheads at the U.N. compare to medieval torture.
* **EXHIBIT C:** In *Mahmoud v. Taylor*, the MAGA lawyers used a Muslim plaintiff to let parents opt out of school curricula in Maryland.
They promised us everything would be jake again—instead, the whole joint is going to the dogs!
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### **THE IRON HEEL STRIKES MAIN STREET**
Emboldened by their victory over the trans community, the Administration set its sights on new targets. First, they squeezed the pro-Palestine soapbox speakers. Then, they commenced a white-nationalist dragnet, kidnapping and deporting over 230 brown-skinned men—including young Kilmar Abrego Garcia—sending them off to a foreign hoosegow in El Salvador.
Because the majority kept quiet, Trump and his chief hatchet-man, Stephen Miller, unleashed masked, heavily armed federal coppers (ICE and CBP) onto our liberal cities.
It wasn't long before blood spilled on the pavement. These federal agents shot and killed two innocent white protesters, Renée Good and Alex Pretti. The White House dubbed the dead "domestic terrorists," even while they handed out presidential pardons to the January 6th rioters convicted of sedition!
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THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION'S RECORD:
* A foolhardy war with Iran!
* Gas prices soaring to the heavens!
* The Stock Market doing the Charleston in reverse!
* Soup lines and food shortages!
* A massive cover-up of the Epstein blackmail files!
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### **A NEW VILLAIN FOR THE SPEAKEASIES**
With his popularity hitting the skids, the President needed a new scapegoat. He cast aside the trans folks and pointed his finger at the Somali Americans!
"Garbage!" Trump bellowed, calling them "low-IQ fraudsters" who contribute nothing to the nation. That’s rich coming from a failed businessman who was held liable for rape, lost millions in defamation suits, and ran multiple enterprises straight into bankruptcy!
Yet, through all the mud and violence, some chickens still cluck for the Colonel. Take Caitlyn Jenner, the Olympic champion turned television talker. Thanks to a new Executive Order, Jenner was barred from putting "Female" on her passport. She appealed directly to the Big Cheese for a favor, and he gave her the high-hat.
Yet, Jenner still whimpered to the press: *"I love the guy, and I love what he’s doing."*
Some birds, it seems, simply cannot be saved from the pot.
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### **A CALL TO REBELLION!**
But for the rest of you rubes who were conned by this anti-trans hokum, it is time to wake up!
Learn from your mistakes. Walk out of the slaughterhouse, find your moxie, and organize! Link arms with your fellow citizens, and remember: to Colonel Sanders, every single one of us looks grand in the frying pan.
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*Wajahat Ali is a recovering attorney, public speaker, and a tired father of three swell kids. His latest volume, "Go Back to Where You Came From," is available at all fine bookstalls.*