A civil war has erupted within the socialist ranks as angry partisans demand the permanent blacklist of political mastermind Morris Katz, accused of backing a candidate plagued by heinous allegations. Insiders whisper that Katz knowingly peddled a tainted horse in the Maine Senate race, threatening the very purity of the red crusade. This sensational mutiny threatens to tear apart the progressive machine as kingmakers fight for their political lives.
**THE REDS GO KNIVES OUT!**
*Socialist Cabal Demands Blacklist of Slick Political Kingpin Over Maine Candidate’s Dark Scandals!*
**NEW YORK, July 10** — The printing presses are hot and the comrades are in a proper lather! A secret circular, passed hand-to-hand like high-proof bathtub gin, has thrown the progressive political machine into a howling tailspin. Members of the Democratic Socialists of America are screaming for the scalp of one Morris Katz, demanding that every red-leaning candidate give him and his high-flying outfit, the "Fight Agency," the absolute high hat!
"We, the undersigned, call on all DSA candidates to no longer contract or work with Morris Katz!" bellows the fiery manifesto, obtained by this publication.
It turns out Katz isn’t even a card-carrying member of the socialist club—he’s just a slick city-slicker selling political snake oil. The comrades accuse him of being the chief architect behind the catastrophic campaign of Graham Platner, the Maine Senate hopeful who recently found himself in the deepest soup after the blackest of charges came to light.
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### THE MAINE SCANDAL SPLASHES THE FRONT PAGE!
What is the dirt on Platner? The whispers turned into a roar when a dame named Jenny Racicot leveled a terrible accusation of outrage—rape!—against the Maine politician, a scandal first splashed across the wires by *Politico*.
The socialist circular pulls no punches, disputing Katz's alibi. Katz took to the modern electric telegraph on Thursday to save his own skin, claiming, "As soon as the team became aware of the allegations, we advised Platner to beat it and wind down his campaign."
But the Red scribes call that pure bunk!
"According to reports, Katz and his associates were tipped off to Platner’s disturbing history from the jump," the letter charges. They claim that even as the scandals mounted—including a nasty business involving lewd telegraphs and a row over controversial posts on the digital wireless—Katz kept pouring greenbacks and slick moving pictures into the campaign. He even allegedly threatened a campaign whistleblower who helped verify the candidate's dirty laundry, a threat first reported by the *Bangor Daily News*. By sticking with Platner, the comrades say, Katz blocked any decent fella from replacing the scoundrel before the primary ballot.
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### THE SPREADING SPIDERWEB
It ain't just Morris getting the cold shoulder. The socialist manifesto also takes aim at Rebecca Katz—no relation to Morris, but a fellow big-wig at the Fight Agency. She’s the advisor who managed the campaign of Pennsylvania’s big boy, Senator John Fetterman, who promptly turned his back on his left-wing pals once he got his boots into the Senate.
Meanwhile, the Fight Agency is playing both sides of the street, drumming up business for Michigan’s Abdul El-Sayed, while the DSA is putting its own sweat and cash into backing another horse in the Great Lakes State, congressional hopeful Donavan McKinney.
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### DEFENDERS CRY "BALONEY!"
Not everyone is ready to throw Katz to the wolves. A few anonymous big-wigs in the progressive camp are crying foul, claiming the socialist reformers are playing favorites.
"Did we go knives-out for Eric Swalwell's high-priced advisors?" whispered one political strategist from a smokey backroom. "What about the fellas who laundered Andrew Cuomo or even Joe Biden? This ward-heeling world is lousy with useless palookas who couldn't run a bath, let alone a campaign. Nobody squeals when they muck it up. They’re only gunning for Morris because he actually delivers the goods!"
Indeed, the Fight Agency has some feathers in its cap—they made the moving pictures that helped Zohran Mamdani make a splash in Gotham's mayor race, and backed State Assembly Member Claire Valdez in her recent New York primary triumph.
But the socialist rank-and-file say this association is poisoning the well, allowing liberals and conservatives alike to smear the whole movement.
"Men like Platner must not represent the American Left, and those like Katz who push such candidates should have no role in our movement!" the manifesto concludes with dramatic flourish. "Our crusade must be rooted in feminism and the multiracial working class, not archaic ideas of what constitutes a 'worker.' Giving Katz the run of the place undermines everything we stand for!"
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**STOP PRESS!** *An earlier dispatch erroneously reported candidate Abdul El-Sayed was running in the pine tree state of Maine. Our telegraph operator has been re-schooled: El-Sayed is running in the great state of Michigan!*