For over two decades, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has accepted undisclosed luxury vacations, including private jet travel and superyacht cruises, from billionaire Republican megadonor Harlan Crow. These lavish gifts, which went unreported on Thomas's financial disclosures, appear to violate post-Watergate ethics laws. This pattern of behavior raises serious questions about judicial transparency and the erosion of public trust in the nation's highest court, which largely polices itself.
**THE DAILY INQUIRER**
*The Paper for the Common Man—Five Cents*
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### EXTRA! HIGH COURT JURIST ON THE GRAVY TRAIN!
#### Justice Thomas Rides Swanky Secret Junkets on Tycoon’s Dime!
#### *Nine Days on a Floating Palace in the Orient—And Not a Single Clam Accounted For on the Official Ledger!*
**WASHINGTON, D.C.** — A sensational whisper has turned into a roaring scandal in the halls of federal justice! Word has reached this desk that back in the balmy days of June in the year of our Lord 2019, the very minute the Supreme Court closed its heavy oak doors for the season, Justice Clarence Thomas beat a hasty retreat from the capital. But he didn’t board any dusty public steam engine, no sir! He hopped aboard a swanky, private flying machine bound for the exotic Far East.
Destination: Indonesia! For nine glorious days, the Justice and his better half lived like kings of the Orient, island-hopping on a mammoth 162-foot floating palace—a superyacht staffed by a doting crew of servants and a private chef whipping up fancy grub.
Had the Justice paid the piper himself, he would have been out a cool half-million clams! But don't you worry about the Justice's pocketbook. The entire extravagant spree was on the house, courtesy of none other than Dallas real estate tycoon and big-spending political angel, Harlan Crow!
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### THE SWELL LIFE OF AN "EVERYMAN"
Now, Justice Thomas has long spun a yarn to the public about being a simple man of the soil. "I prefer the RV parks," he cooed in a recent moving-picture documentary funded, curiously enough, by his pal Crow. "I prefer the Walmart parking lots to the beaches. I come from regular stock."
But behind closed doors? Oh, brother! This public servant—pulling in a modest government salary of 285,000 greenbacks—has been putting on the Ritz with Crow for over two decades! From the exclusive, gents-only Bohemian Grove in California to a sprawling cattle ranch in East Texas, Thomas has been riding high on Crow’s Bombardier Global 5000 sky-chariot.
Every summer, the Justice spends a week at Camp Topridge, Crow’s private playground in the Adirondack mountains. It’s a 105-acre paradise once owned by the very same cereal heiress who built Mar-a-Lago. It’s got artificial waterfalls, boathouses, clay tennis courts, and even a soda fountain where the help whips up frothy milkshakes. Inside the grand lodge, there hangs a portrait of the two chums outdoors, puffing on fat stogies alongside right-wing backroom operators like Leonard Leo.
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### THE HUSH-HUSH ON THE LEDGER
But here’s the rub, folks: not a single one of these ritzy joyrides showed up on his official ledger!
The legal eagles are in a tizzy. They say this hush-hush behavior violates a strict law passed back after that dirty Watergate business, which demands all high-up officials tell the public when they’re taking handouts.
"It’s completely beyond the pale!" cried Nancy Gertner, a retired lady judge who was so cautious of her reputation she wouldn't even use her title to bag a table at a swanky restaurant.
Virginia Canter, an ethics watchdog, sighed with a heavy heart: "When a judge’s high life is being subsidized by the idle rich, it sours the public trust. Frankly, it makes my heart sink."
While ordinary federal judges must watch their step to avoid even the slightest look of monkey business, the Supreme Court polices itself—which means they answer to nobody but the Almighty!
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### "YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY—IT'S ALL COVERED"
To blow the lid off this high-society racket, scribes traced the yacht’s logbooks and cornered the help. Crew members from Crow’s vessel, the *Michaela Rose*, told reporters that Crow’s rule was simple: guests don't pay. "You don't need to worry about this—it’s all covered," they were told.
On that Indonesian holiday, the crowd included Mark Paoletta, a lawyer for the Trump administration. Unlike Thomas, Paoletta had to follow the strict rules of his office. He asked an ethics lawyer first and paid Crow back his share of the dough.
And what about the other secret flights? Flight records show Crow's private flying machine regularly making quick hops to Washington to fetch the Justice. In 2016, the jet made a three-hour dash to New Haven and back—a trip that would cost an ordinary citizen $70,000 to charter.
In the autumn of '21, the jet whisked Thomas to a quiet graveyard in New York to unveil a towering, 1,800-pound bronze statue of his beloved eighth-grade teacher, a holy nun. As Thomas thanked the crowd, he tip-toed around who paid for the monument. The big spenders behind the curtain? Harlan and Kathy Crow!
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### THE TYCOON SPEAKS
Mr. Crow, reached at his grand estate, admitted he has extended "hospitality" to his dear pal Thomas over the years, but swears it’s all on the level. "We have never sought to influence Justice Thomas on any legal or political issue," Crow declared to the press.
But the cynics are laughing. Crow is a major daddy-warbucks of the conservative movement, having poured over $10 million in public greenbacks—and untold millions in secret "dark money"—into changing the nation's laws.
Justice Thomas himself kept his lips zipped and refused to answer any questions.
Will the high-hat Justice face the music, or will he keep riding the gravy train in silence? Stay tuned to the *Inquirer* as this high-society drama unfolds!